Yes, I Choose To Be Single AF & Travel Solo
“Traveling solo is one of the most terrifying & rewarding things you can accomplish in a lifetime.”
At least that’s what I thought when I wrote this article two years ago.
Since then I’ve backpacked across 9 countries in Southeast Asia (alone), moved to Mexico (yep, solo baby), started 2 online businesses, & honestly, none of it was nearly as terrifying as I thought it would be. And I was f*cking terrified.
It was, however, highly rewarding.
Yet people still ask me “So, you actually like being single & traveling alone??”
And my answer is always, ‘Yes, I choose to be single AF & travel solo.’
So, I’m a single traveler. No, wait, I’m a solo traveler.
Whatever you choose to call it, I’m a girl who prefers to travel the world alone.
(Gasp!)
What does that even mean??
For me, this means I’m open to traveling with different people, but I’ve found it much easier to travel freely when I want & how I want without waiting on others.
Ang Tong National Marine Park, Thailand
Besides, traveling solo is like love; there are so many exhilarating moments where you feel alive, free & everything must be experienced.
And moments you feel like you are surrounded by 100 people yet still feel completely alone, & 50,000+ miles away from everyone you know & love.
But there is still one thing you are undoubtedly sure of, you absolutely cannot live without it.
When traveling solo, you will meet interesting souls from all over the globe & make memories you'll hold on to for a lifetime. You will explore your own creativity, grow your own portfolio of self-expression, & learn lessons that will make you wonder how you even got through life this far.
You’ll begin to notice that romance on the road isn’t hard to find, however lasting relationships seem to be some mythical lifestyle that we full-time travelers just can’t seem to commit to.
Don’t get me wrong, I was once married for over a decade…but I’ll save that story for another time.
For now, this is my take on dating life as a solo female traveler.
And in my humble opinion, there are two things required for a lasting relationship:
Chemistry and Timing
Often when traveling constantly, you’ll meet people where the chemistry is right, and just as often - the timing is wrong.
I’ve been moving around & traveling the world for the last 6 years, and the above statement is a pretty good example of my love life.
I meet someone I adore but don’t actually envision them in the big picture, more or less just view them as the highlight of a particular time or experience, & as experiences change, so do I & I simply move on.
Nevertheless, there are still many ups & downs if you should choose to be single AF & travel solo:
Fiesta en la Montana, Canopy River, Puerto Vallarta, Mexcio
The Upside:
You Are Free To Meet People On The Road
As a single/solo/whateveryoucallit traveler, you have the freedom to do whatever you want without someone waiting at home wondering what you are up to.
The pressure of checking in or having someone expect a copy of your itinerary can really put a damper on the outcome of your journey.
No joke.
By traveling solo, you’re giving your free-spirit at chance to tap into its outgoing side, submersing in every opportunity with the freedom of no one holding you back.
Traveling Solo Makes You More Approachable
Being alone means you will be more open to meeting people;
You won’t be consumed with the person you’re traveling with.
Some of the best friendships you will ever have in your life will be with the people you meet while traveling; you’ll make lasting relationships with like-minded people and your free-spirits can come together long enough to improve your journeys.
You teach each other, learn & share your stories, then continue down your individual paths on your own.
We Fall Fast & Hard, & Move On Just As Fast
When you’re a full-time traveler you’ll meet a lot of great people on the road, & undoubtedly meet someone worth slowing down for a moment.
Knowing you’re headed to your next destination soon after really takes the pressure off of the ever weighing question ‘Where is this going?’ because of the clear deadline.
There’s no animosity when you ‘break up’ because you knew it was inevitable.
There's no hard feelings.
You’re just happy to see each other when your paths cross again.
The Downside:
Travelers Notoriously Fear Commitment
This may seem obvious, but often what inspires us to take the journey in the first place is our lust to wander & continuous need to experience something new.
We’re thrill seekers. Adrenaline junkies. Explorers. & we are eccentric AF.
We become infatuated with travel, absorbing everything we can out of an experience; once we are done, we easily let go and move on.
Applying this to relationships, we tend to have great-short term romances, with the ability to walk away unscathed.
You Are Always Saying Goodbye
Though you are always meeting many, many great people, you are also always saying goodbye.
I’ve gotten rather good at goodbyes – I can detach rather quickly.
But sometimes you meet that once in a lifetime person you aren’t ready to detach from yet.
And if you ever gave up your goals to travel for someone...
Abstinence Makes The Heart….Forget
This is an unfortunate truth.
You can try a long-distance relationship, sure.
Sometimes they work.
But unfortunately, in a world built on constant stimulation, maintaining that relationship is difficult.
When you’re traveling, you’re constantly presented with new experiences, meeting new people.
Your brain fills with so much passion and excitement for your future day-to-day it tends to forget about that person who as each day passes, becomes a further part of the past.
It’s a harsh reality.
But it’s life.
Then again, there’s a saying that says: Those who travel together, stay together.
So, consider the ultimatum & trust your gut.
You’ll know what to do.
What’s Better Than Finding Love On The Road?
Location: Road to Palouse Falls, Washington State, USA
Finding yourself.
The whole reason you went on a solo journey in the first place was to find yourself, right?
When I’m feeling lonely, I ask myself why. Am I looking for someone to entertain me because I’m bored? Am I insecure and needing a validation from an outside source? Am I simply missing the company of someone who cares or am I genuinely missing someone in particular?
I tend to see loneliness as an opportunity to explore myself deeper.
I look for things about myself that I want express creatively or improve.
I seek out new hobbies, interests and actively meet new people.
I write.
In relationships, as ephemeral as they may be these last few years, I seek lessons.
I look for insight.
I admire those who can bring out different sides of myself that I didn’t know existed.
Sometimes they’re good.
Sometimes they’re bad.
But ultimately, I never lose.
I either win, or I learn.
But I never lose.
And in the end, I’ve found myself.
Through love, through loneliness, through creativity, through travel.
I found myself.
Location: Gili Trawangan Island off the coast of Bali, Indonesia